There is nothing he can do for me that I can't do for myself, Al.
[But Lucifer is very much alone here, and he knows it--especially since Castiel is no longer even an ally. He'll take kids with demon contracts over nothing at all.]
I'm not going to hurt him. And if you leave, I might even protect him. And in the meantime, I plan to be an ear for him. I can explain things about demons that you don't understand.
You have no idea why I do any of the things I do, Al, and neither does anyone else. And I know, I get it, you don't care, I'm the bad guy here...and blah, blah, blah.
The point is you all rush in half-cocked and then wonder when things don't go your way. Children are better judges because they listen.
That boy's seen enough pain and horror for a whole lifetime. He doesn't need you adding to it by setting an example that it's fine to commit it himself.
[Al takes a deep breath. He thinks of the aftermath of his mother's death. He thinks of the gun in his hand, he thinks of Yuca collapsed on the floor of that old, dark warehouse, sobbing.
Begging him, voice breaking. Begging Al to kill him.]
The time will come, someday, when Luca will have to make a choice like that. But not right now. Not even a few years from now.
He needs time to be innocent. To be able to develop a strong heart that will carry him through the times when he'll have to make those choices for himself.
I know it won't be forever, and it might not be possible, but-
More than the ability to patiently hope for the best and whistle while he works.
[Lucifer is rubbing his sinuses. He's trying to care if he pisses Al off, but it's just not there. Nothing is, but a dull sense of hopelessness and rage.]
The ability to know when and how to act, for starters. If more of you knew that your lives might actually mean something.
[He says it quietly. He can almost sense it -- the feeling that Lucifer is thinking something more. It's what makes him listen when he speaks. He honestly believes that they have things to teach each other.]
[Lucifer doesn't even answer that. Not because it's struck home, not because he feels guilt for his cruelty. It just doesn't matter right now to argue over whether or not he is cruel, or justified in it.
Al's mind is made up, and in the long run it doesn't matter if Lucifer can change that. He already has one person who claims to love him, and would slit his throat anyway. Actually, he has two of those. He sincerely does not want a third.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-06-01 01:52 am (UTC)[But Lucifer is very much alone here, and he knows it--especially since Castiel is no longer even an ally. He'll take kids with demon contracts over nothing at all.]
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Date: 2012-06-01 02:01 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 02:03 am (UTC)You can't be everything for him, Al.
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Date: 2012-06-01 02:15 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 02:16 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 02:25 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 02:28 am (UTC)You have no idea why I do any of the things I do, Al, and neither does anyone else. And I know, I get it, you don't care, I'm the bad guy here...and blah, blah, blah.
The point is you all rush in half-cocked and then wonder when things don't go your way. Children are better judges because they listen.
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Date: 2012-06-01 02:42 am (UTC)[Al bristles.]
That boy's seen enough pain and horror for a whole lifetime. He doesn't need you adding to it by setting an example that it's fine to commit it himself.
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Date: 2012-06-01 02:45 am (UTC)Sometimes it is, Al. Sometimes, the only way to get something done is by doing something you don't want to do.
[Though he leaves unspoken the part about how he does enjoy violence. He'll let Al bring that up, if he likes.]
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Date: 2012-06-01 02:48 am (UTC)Begging him, voice breaking. Begging Al to kill him.]
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Date: 2012-06-01 02:56 am (UTC)The time will come, someday, when Luca will have to make a choice like that. But not right now. Not even a few years from now.
He needs time to be innocent. To be able to develop a strong heart that will carry him through the times when he'll have to make those choices for himself.
I know it won't be forever, and it might not be possible, but-
I want to give that to him.
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:10 am (UTC)[Lucifer doesn't even bother looking at him now. Al is, after all, just like the rest.
He tosses the tissue-paper-wrapped package up at him.]
Give him that, too. But you're crippling him if you honestly think a strong heart is what will keep him going when things really fall apart.
[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 03:14 am (UTC)... what does he need, then?
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:19 am (UTC)[Lucifer is rubbing his sinuses. He's trying to care if he pisses Al off, but it's just not there. Nothing is, but a dull sense of hopelessness and rage.]
The ability to know when and how to act, for starters. If more of you knew that your lives might actually mean something.
[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 03:24 am (UTC)[He says it quietly. He can almost sense it -- the feeling that Lucifer is thinking something more. It's what makes him listen when he speaks. He honestly believes that they have things to teach each other.]
[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 03:27 am (UTC)Al's mind is made up, and in the long run it doesn't matter if Lucifer can change that. He already has one person who claims to love him, and would slit his throat anyway. Actually, he has two of those. He sincerely does not want a third.
He exhales hard, ending the debate there.]
Just give him the package, would you?
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:28 am (UTC)[Softly. He doesn't sound suspicious, he just... has to ask. He doesn't want to have to take something away from him.]
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:31 am (UTC)[Motioning up at the leaves.]
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:32 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 03:33 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 03:34 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 03:38 am (UTC)Jesse's a wee bit too old for it.
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:40 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-06-01 03:42 am (UTC)[He gets up, meaning to leave but he has to rather quickly turn a wince into a yawn and a stretch.]
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:43 am (UTC)Are you all right?
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