[Al sticks his hands in his pockets. Briefly, thinks of what could happen out in the dark with Lucifer. He doesn't really think Lucifer would murder him horribly and leave parts scattered around the city, but-]
Hotheadedness, a lack of judgment when it comes to who to trust, the inability to deal with loss, and a relationship that's close enough with me that I can't be absolutely sure they wouldn't put duty first.
He did it to save you. He would have done it if nothing else were a factor. He admitted that to me.
His judgment is compromised because he is that close to you. Because he would risk death to save you.
[Al crosses his arms over his stomach. He sounds... more apologetic than anything. There isn't any anger, jealousy or hatred to him right now. Just sadness, a touch of regret.]
You are still who you are, even if you've agreed to honor his wishes for the time being. I have no illusions about that.
You would have done exactly the same thing for Negi.
[Lucifer spits out the retort and doesn't look for a second like he wants to take it back.]
You can't fault someone for being compassionate unless you want to let this place be run by a machine. And yes. I am exactly who I am. But you don't know who that is; he does. And if I stepped out of line, he would be the first one there to try to stop me. Right alongside my own brothers.
If you think he wouldn't, then...[his turn to sound apologetic] Well, then you don't know him, either.
Negi's earned that from me, partly through not torturing people.
He is compassionate. But he wouldn't do that for everybody in this city. Instead he picks the person who actively enjoys hurting others and isn't apologetic about it.
[Al's voice loses all its heat.]
And I don't doubt him. He'd also die protecting this city from you if he had to, and I know that that knowledge is part of what keeps you from doing what you used to.
Xerxes isn't a saint, but you don't hold that over his head. If it had turned out the way he had wanted, he would never have become apologetic over what he did. Believe it or not, Al, just because I'm not groveling in glass for you or weeping for my 'sins' doesn't mean I haven't changed.
If you're going to judge him for my choices, you don't deserve to be making any decisions anyway. And you certainly don't deserve him.
I don't hold it over his head because he's aware that what he's done was wrong, and he feels regret, feels pain. He would have felt that pain, even if things turned out the way he thought it would.
If you even cared about the people you hurt, maybe I'd feel differently about you too. And I have never once loved him less for his choices, even if I've never agreed with them, but trust has nothing to do with love, which you should be aware of.
[Al has to fight to keep from raising his voice.]
And I am well aware of what I do and do not deserve.
Trust. Has nothing to do with love. [There's so much scorn, so much disgust in his tone the words feel thick as he says them.] Are you always this naive or am I just riling you up too much to think about what you're saying?
--Never mind. Don't answer that. If you want to know why he trusts me, and not you, this is it. Whether you say it or not, he feels it.
[Video//Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2012-03-29 01:46 am (UTC)[He smiiiles, and takes a bite of licorice.]
[Offline]
Date: 2012-03-29 01:51 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-03-29 01:52 am (UTC)Let's take a walk.
[Offline]
Date: 2012-03-29 01:54 am (UTC)[Offline]
Date: 2012-03-29 01:56 am (UTC)You're on the no-fly list, remember? Stop looking so nervous.
[Offline]
Date: 2012-03-29 01:57 am (UTC)[But he falls into step with him.]
no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 01:58 am (UTC)Did you hear Tom Riddle left?
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Date: 2012-03-29 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 02:01 am (UTC)Then I realized the police have no real authority yet. How is that going, by the way?
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:05 am (UTC)... not well. I haven't thought of anyone to ask.
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:06 am (UTC)Not a single person? I can think of eight or nine self-righteous justice seekers off the top of my head.
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 02:08 am (UTC)Although I have to ask. What disqualifies a person for you?
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 02:16 am (UTC)[He looks at Al evenly]
Why haven't you asked Xerxes, then? Or Retsu?
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:19 am (UTC)... if you give your word you won't tell Break.
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 02:24 am (UTC)Then incident when he allowed you to touch his soul. It shook my faith in him that he'd allow anyone to do that.
[That sounds like the kind of stupid thing Al would do himself, frankly.]
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:34 am (UTC)What he did made sure none of you would be hurt. It also showed he's willing to do things he wouldn't ask anyone else to do.
You cut him out of your little pool because he saved the city, and spared my life?
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:44 am (UTC)His judgment is compromised because he is that close to you. Because he would risk death to save you.
[Al crosses his arms over his stomach. He sounds... more apologetic than anything. There isn't any anger, jealousy or hatred to him right now. Just sadness, a touch of regret.]
You are still who you are, even if you've agreed to honor his wishes for the time being. I have no illusions about that.
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Date: 2012-03-29 02:47 am (UTC)[Lucifer spits out the retort and doesn't look for a second like he wants to take it back.]
You can't fault someone for being compassionate unless you want to let this place be run by a machine. And yes. I am exactly who I am. But you don't know who that is; he does. And if I stepped out of line, he would be the first one there to try to stop me. Right alongside my own brothers.
If you think he wouldn't, then...[his turn to sound apologetic] Well, then you don't know him, either.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 02:52 am (UTC)He is compassionate. But he wouldn't do that for everybody in this city. Instead he picks the person who actively enjoys hurting others and isn't apologetic about it.
[Al's voice loses all its heat.]
And I don't doubt him. He'd also die protecting this city from you if he had to, and I know that that knowledge is part of what keeps you from doing what you used to.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 02:57 am (UTC)If you're going to judge him for my choices, you don't deserve to be making any decisions anyway. And you certainly don't deserve him.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-29 03:03 am (UTC)If you even cared about the people you hurt, maybe I'd feel differently about you too. And I have never once loved him less for his choices, even if I've never agreed with them, but trust has nothing to do with love, which you should be aware of.
[Al has to fight to keep from raising his voice.]
And I am well aware of what I do and do not deserve.
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Date: 2012-03-29 03:07 am (UTC)--Never mind. Don't answer that. If you want to know why he trusts me, and not you, this is it. Whether you say it or not, he feels it.
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