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[al_truism]

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[al_truism]

"... no."

Softly.

"Not with only a message. I won't do that to them again."

[thelightbringer]

"What are your terms?"

[al_truism]

"I need to be able to tell Negi, Ed and Luca. I need to name a second. If something happens to us, they need to be able to carry on."

[thelightbringer]

"Riiight. You want to tell Negi and Ed that you're going down below with good old Satan. I'm sure they'll wave you off with flowers, not a problem."

Are you an idiot.

[al_truism]

"Then you'll have to leave me behind."

It pains him, and it shows.

"I won't say a word, but I'll have advance warning if something goes wrong, and I'll know how to keep the others safe."

[thelightbringer]

"Well. It's nice to know you're predictable."

Again, no bitterness. He could almost have ruffled Al's hair and cooed it at him. He taps his chin thoughtfully.

"What else was I going to say to you...."

[al_truism]

"That you'll make sure Break gets back safe."

[thelightbringer]

"No, that wasn't it."

Dismissing him.

"Oh, your journals. For Castiel."

[al_truism]

[Al gives him a long-suffering look and opens his bag, pulling out two thick notebooks.]

I copied over the relevant entries. They're unchanged. He's free to keep these.

[thelightbringer]

Thank you, Al. We do appreciate this.

[He takes the entries, glances them over.]

You understand if I can't tell you when we're going. Not that it's decided who is going, yet.

[al_truism]

Why would you not tell me when you're going?

[thelightbringer]

Why would I?

[He stifles a laugh]

No. It's for the same reason I don't want you flapping your lips to anyone about this.

[He might not even tell Xerxes.]

[al_truism]

I need to know that in case something goes wrong.

[And so he can say goodbye to Break. He's not guarding those thoughts, not now.]

[thelightbringer]

I'll tell you the morning of.

[That's as much of a compromise as he'll give.]

[al_truism]

... will you give me enough time to see Break?

[thelightbringer]

I don't know. I guess we'll see, hm?

[He would have tried to be sympathetic a week ago. Now he doesn't bother.]

Speaking of, I heard you got a chance to talk to him.

[al_truism]

[Al gives him a dry look. He knows the teasing will soon commence.]

[thelightbringer]

Well?

[All ears. Like a good friend.]

[al_truism]

I told him that- I wanted him to be happy.

[Al doesn't look too happy himself, but.]

[thelightbringer]

Mmhmm. Kept it nice and vague, then.

[Lucifer isn't mocking him. Actually, the way his posture changes makes him very subtly, almost subconsciously inviting.]

[al_truism]

[Al crosses his arms, frowning back at Lucifer.]

I also confessed that I'd always had feelings for him but was too far in denial to even realize it.

[Lucifer will ferret it out if he doesn't say it, he figures. Unpleasantly.]

[thelightbringer]

I can't imagine that made the conversation easier.

[al_truism]

It went well, all things considered. We handled it very maturely.

[thelightbringer]

Obviously. I wouldn't expect anything less.

[He motions Al over to take a seat on a low, crumbling wall.]

But you know, part of maturity means a certain amount of 'compromise'. Some people would call it 'deception'. For instance: 'I want you to be happy, Xerxes' is more mature than telling him that it rips you up a little when you think about it.

[al_truism]

It's not a lie, wanting him to be happy. And even if he weren't with someone- I wouldn't do that to Negi.

[He eyes the seat, then takes it.]

Break is -- I love him dearly, but our personalities are better suited to friendship. I know I wouldn't be able to meet every need he has, and I know that part of him would always... it means less from me. My forgiveness. I can't touch any of the darker parts of him, because he'll lock them up tight, away from me.

So I'd never be able to heal him. Not completely.

[It's taken him ages to understand this, but he has.]