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[al_truism]

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[al_truism]

... will you give me enough time to see Break?

[thelightbringer]

I don't know. I guess we'll see, hm?

[He would have tried to be sympathetic a week ago. Now he doesn't bother.]

Speaking of, I heard you got a chance to talk to him.

[al_truism]

[Al gives him a dry look. He knows the teasing will soon commence.]

[thelightbringer]

Well?

[All ears. Like a good friend.]

[al_truism]

I told him that- I wanted him to be happy.

[Al doesn't look too happy himself, but.]

[thelightbringer]

Mmhmm. Kept it nice and vague, then.

[Lucifer isn't mocking him. Actually, the way his posture changes makes him very subtly, almost subconsciously inviting.]

[al_truism]

[Al crosses his arms, frowning back at Lucifer.]

I also confessed that I'd always had feelings for him but was too far in denial to even realize it.

[Lucifer will ferret it out if he doesn't say it, he figures. Unpleasantly.]

[thelightbringer]

I can't imagine that made the conversation easier.

[al_truism]

It went well, all things considered. We handled it very maturely.

[thelightbringer]

Obviously. I wouldn't expect anything less.

[He motions Al over to take a seat on a low, crumbling wall.]

But you know, part of maturity means a certain amount of 'compromise'. Some people would call it 'deception'. For instance: 'I want you to be happy, Xerxes' is more mature than telling him that it rips you up a little when you think about it.

[al_truism]

It's not a lie, wanting him to be happy. And even if he weren't with someone- I wouldn't do that to Negi.

[He eyes the seat, then takes it.]

Break is -- I love him dearly, but our personalities are better suited to friendship. I know I wouldn't be able to meet every need he has, and I know that part of him would always... it means less from me. My forgiveness. I can't touch any of the darker parts of him, because he'll lock them up tight, away from me.

So I'd never be able to heal him. Not completely.

[It's taken him ages to understand this, but he has.]

[thelightbringer]

[Lucifer's gaze grows very cold, and very dark as he listens. It's only through an almost visible act of will that he manages an expression that wouldn't make the birds go still.]

You think he needs healing from a relationship.

[al_truism]

He needs healing through something.

[But he notices. Al always notices, and he watches him, waiting patiently for him to tell him what's wrong.]

[thelightbringer]

[He doesn't. Won't. Not to Al.]

Well, how lucky you are, then.

[al_truism]

I have the feeling that you're hearing something other than what I'm saying.

[Because that came out of nowhere.]

[thelightbringer]

Mm [thinking] no, I'm not. I think you don't understand all of what 'healing' means. But then, he does hide a lot of those darker parts from you already.

[al_truism]

I'm listening.

[thelightbringer]

I know. Why?

[Seriously, why are you open ears for this from Satan?]

[al_truism]

Because you have the air of "I know something you don't and you could never understand it anyway".

It makes me curious.

[And want to prove him wrong. A little pride.]

[thelightbringer]

I do, and you won't. Not... [He doesn't want to just say 'you can't' but it's true. Al is not an angel. Al has never been to Hell. Al doesn't see those dark places in Break as things worth keeping.]

Why do you think he sought me out?

[al_truism]

Because he's suicidal. Or was. And he just didn't care, and you were fun. And then it was partly to protect people. And then because he liked you. And then because he understood you.

[thelightbringer]

It shouldn't be any surprise, then, that I like that bits of him that didn't care. There aren't a lot of people here, Al, and even fewer I can work with.

[He leaves it at that. He and Break have (more or less) sorted it out, and he's made the decision to just let things be and trust that they'll end up in his favor.

It's about as easy as it sounds.]

[al_truism]

... Break is- he's got a bigger heart than a lot of people I've met.

[He smiles, a touch pained. Because this is why he loves him.]

He can look at anyone, good or bad, no matter what's happened. And he can find something to love about them.

[thelightbringer]

He has his limits.

[al_truism]

Some.