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[al_truism]

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[al_truism]

"Then you'll have to leave me behind."

It pains him, and it shows.

"I won't say a word, but I'll have advance warning if something goes wrong, and I'll know how to keep the others safe."

[thelightbringer]

"Well. It's nice to know you're predictable."

Again, no bitterness. He could almost have ruffled Al's hair and cooed it at him. He taps his chin thoughtfully.

"What else was I going to say to you...."

[al_truism]

"That you'll make sure Break gets back safe."

[thelightbringer]

"No, that wasn't it."

Dismissing him.

"Oh, your journals. For Castiel."

[al_truism]

[Al gives him a long-suffering look and opens his bag, pulling out two thick notebooks.]

I copied over the relevant entries. They're unchanged. He's free to keep these.

[thelightbringer]

Thank you, Al. We do appreciate this.

[He takes the entries, glances them over.]

You understand if I can't tell you when we're going. Not that it's decided who is going, yet.

[al_truism]

Why would you not tell me when you're going?

[thelightbringer]

Why would I?

[He stifles a laugh]

No. It's for the same reason I don't want you flapping your lips to anyone about this.

[He might not even tell Xerxes.]

[al_truism]

I need to know that in case something goes wrong.

[And so he can say goodbye to Break. He's not guarding those thoughts, not now.]

[thelightbringer]

I'll tell you the morning of.

[That's as much of a compromise as he'll give.]

[al_truism]

... will you give me enough time to see Break?

[thelightbringer]

I don't know. I guess we'll see, hm?

[He would have tried to be sympathetic a week ago. Now he doesn't bother.]

Speaking of, I heard you got a chance to talk to him.

[al_truism]

[Al gives him a dry look. He knows the teasing will soon commence.]

[thelightbringer]

Well?

[All ears. Like a good friend.]

[al_truism]

I told him that- I wanted him to be happy.

[Al doesn't look too happy himself, but.]

[thelightbringer]

Mmhmm. Kept it nice and vague, then.

[Lucifer isn't mocking him. Actually, the way his posture changes makes him very subtly, almost subconsciously inviting.]

[al_truism]

[Al crosses his arms, frowning back at Lucifer.]

I also confessed that I'd always had feelings for him but was too far in denial to even realize it.

[Lucifer will ferret it out if he doesn't say it, he figures. Unpleasantly.]

[thelightbringer]

I can't imagine that made the conversation easier.

[al_truism]

It went well, all things considered. We handled it very maturely.

[thelightbringer]

Obviously. I wouldn't expect anything less.

[He motions Al over to take a seat on a low, crumbling wall.]

But you know, part of maturity means a certain amount of 'compromise'. Some people would call it 'deception'. For instance: 'I want you to be happy, Xerxes' is more mature than telling him that it rips you up a little when you think about it.

[al_truism]

It's not a lie, wanting him to be happy. And even if he weren't with someone- I wouldn't do that to Negi.

[He eyes the seat, then takes it.]

Break is -- I love him dearly, but our personalities are better suited to friendship. I know I wouldn't be able to meet every need he has, and I know that part of him would always... it means less from me. My forgiveness. I can't touch any of the darker parts of him, because he'll lock them up tight, away from me.

So I'd never be able to heal him. Not completely.

[It's taken him ages to understand this, but he has.]

[thelightbringer]

[Lucifer's gaze grows very cold, and very dark as he listens. It's only through an almost visible act of will that he manages an expression that wouldn't make the birds go still.]

You think he needs healing from a relationship.

[al_truism]

He needs healing through something.

[But he notices. Al always notices, and he watches him, waiting patiently for him to tell him what's wrong.]

[thelightbringer]

[He doesn't. Won't. Not to Al.]

Well, how lucky you are, then.

[al_truism]

I have the feeling that you're hearing something other than what I'm saying.

[Because that came out of nowhere.]