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[al_truism]

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[al_truism]

Do you want me to know or understand it, or not?

[thelightbringer]

It's not really a "words can express it" sort of thing.

[Which is true of nearly all Lucifer's relationships, including the close bond he has with Gabriel...the brother he raised, and who he also murdered without remorse.]

[al_truism]

[Al gives him a level look. Waiting.]

[thelightbringer]

I just said-

[But he's smirking now, playing.]

Stick around. Then we'll see.

[al_truism]

I'm not planning on going anywhere.

[He rubs at his eyes. He's so tired but he can't sleep.]

[thelightbringer]

I'm glad to hear it, Al.

[As casually as he says that, he does mean it. Surprisingly. Possibly it's a sign to start worrying.]

[al_truism]

... you don't sleep, do you?

[thelightbringer]

No.

Well, I don't need to. Every now and then I'll put down the book and watch a dream. Why?

[al_truism]

... what do you do all night?

[Softly.]

[thelightbringer]

It depends.

[He leans on Marge, and plays with her ear.]

There's always something to do. Planning, building. Working. Undertaker doesn't sleep, and you know how Yuca is, so sometimes I go bother them. But if Xerxes is home, like I said, I'll watch his dreams. It's something he came up with--I think me pacing kept him up. Or he thought I was just playing when I said I didn't need the rest, who knows.

[al_truism]

[The cow loooves that. She trips to lip his fingers, turning to him. Al rests his forehead against her other shoulder.]

... I used to sit at night, back when I didn't have a body that could sleep -- and I would stare at the wall. Awake, alone in my own head.

Now, it's like the same thing but with hallucinations.

[thelightbringer]

[Lucifer listens, focusing on the images in Al's memories. The similarities it bears to his time in the Cage.]

When is the last time you slept?

[al_truism]

For more than a few hours at a time? ... a week, I think.

[thelightbringer]

No wonder you're seeing things.

[He makes a vague, finger-wiggling gesture just off to the side, like a spider in the peripheral.]

[al_truism]

And being angry.

[thelightbringer]

That's loss. Having someone taken makes you angry. Being tired just makes you cranky.

Why can't you sleep?

[al_truism]

I can't sleep when I'm alone. I have nightmares.

[thelightbringer]

This is why we need prostitutes.

...Or something to put you so far under you don't dream.

[al_truism]

Negi used to help me when it got this bad. He had a spell that could clear your mind.

[Just ignoring the prostitute comment.]

[thelightbringer]

Mm. Manipulating dreams is easy. [He shrugs.] There are plenty here who would do it for you.

[Lucifer might. He likes dreams, he has just enough spare time to make it worth his while. But he doesn't offer outright, because it doesn't take a paranoid mind to see how letting Satan poke at your subconscious would be bad.

Even if he doesn't need permission to do it, there's a difference between someone breaking in, and leaving the door open with a map to all the valuables.]

[al_truism]

[Al knows. But he's very, very desperate, sick of this.]

I just... need to not think for a while.

[thelightbringer]

Why haven't you asked around? Negi wasn't the only magician here. And Snape has been here long enough to owe you a potion or three.

[al_truism]

Because I don't want to broadcast the fact that I'm not-

[... well.]

[thelightbringer]

[Lucifer just looks at him knowingly, though he never stops petting Marge.]

[al_truism]

I like the others to think that I'm doing all right. I don't want to drag anyone down or make them worry.