[ There were far too many things Watanuki wanted to say right now... ]
[ He had been in Adstringendum just shy of a year now, and this whole time, he noticed something about the people he had gotten to know, and whom he had gotten close to. The world-travelers Syaoran and Sakura had come, and as he thought, eventually left without so much of a goodbye. Yuuko was here for merely a week, and all she did was tease him. ]
[ Neither Doumeki nor Himawari arrived, and while no, he wouldn't want them to come here and be stuck in this crap-sack world, he... ]
[ He had felt so alone. People had others from where they came from... why couldn't he have the same? And why was it always his bad luck, his stupid blood, his stupid dreams, his stupid... misfortune... that ended up pulling through? Above all other things? ]
[ Maybe that was the reason he was stuck in Adstring. Maybe it wasn't about stupid animus, maybe the scientists were just some elaborate bullshit story. Maybe it was just about the pure and simple fact that he was unfortunate, and didn't really exist. Was just a fraction of a person. A fraction. And thus, had no real home, and Adstringendum was the only place available for him to have a semblance of a normal life. And even then... ]
[ And Watanuki hated himself for taking on the whole, 'Oh woe is me' thought process, but for the first time in a long time... for the first time in a very long while... ]
[ Whatever his nightmare had been... ]
[ He wanted it to come true. And he hated that. ]
[ But here was Alphonse, and he knew Alphonse wouldn't lie to him. He knew he meant every word, that even though he didn't feel the same, he would stick beside him, that they could still be friends, that they could be together just as they were. Back home, he had always been on the bottom rung. Always underneath the amazing Doumeki. Never popular with Himawari, or any other girls for that matter. The nice guy... and always last place. ]
[ And maybe... ]
[ ...That was where he belonged. ]
[ And Watanuki's eyes opened. He stared at Alphonse, and now, he couldn't cry. He knew... he really did care for Alphonse... because a part of him knew that even though Alphonse wouldn't ever look at him the same, that he still wanted him to find someone to make him happy... even if it wasn't him. And he deserved someone better, cooler than some guy who didn't have a single special bone in his body. ]
[ He spoke. ]
...That's fine.
[ And while it was the truth for the sake of Alphonse... ]
[ It was the most horrible lie he had ever told himself. ]
[ Watanuki's eyes were closed again. He could feel Alphonse's breathing. He could feel the warmth that came form the blond's body. Their bodies were close... but Watanuki hadn't felt so far away from someone in a very long time. ]
[ The happy feeling he had been harboring moments before... flickered out with a weak flame, and left nothing behind but swirling smoke. ]
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[ Action ]
[ He had been in Adstringendum just shy of a year now, and this whole time, he noticed something about the people he had gotten to know, and whom he had gotten close to. The world-travelers Syaoran and Sakura had come, and as he thought, eventually left without so much of a goodbye. Yuuko was here for merely a week, and all she did was tease him. ]
[ Neither Doumeki nor Himawari arrived, and while no, he wouldn't want them to come here and be stuck in this crap-sack world, he... ]
[ He had felt so alone. People had others from where they came from... why couldn't he have the same? And why was it always his bad luck, his stupid blood, his stupid dreams, his stupid... misfortune... that ended up pulling through? Above all other things? ]
[ Maybe that was the reason he was stuck in Adstring. Maybe it wasn't about stupid animus, maybe the scientists were just some elaborate bullshit story. Maybe it was just about the pure and simple fact that he was unfortunate, and didn't really exist. Was just a fraction of a person. A fraction. And thus, had no real home, and Adstringendum was the only place available for him to have a semblance of a normal life. And even then... ]
[ And Watanuki hated himself for taking on the whole, 'Oh woe is me' thought process, but for the first time in a long time... for the first time in a very long while... ]
[ Whatever his nightmare had been... ]
[ He wanted it to come true. And he hated that. ]
[ But here was Alphonse, and he knew Alphonse wouldn't lie to him. He knew he meant every word, that even though he didn't feel the same, he would stick beside him, that they could still be friends, that they could be together just as they were. Back home, he had always been on the bottom rung. Always underneath the amazing Doumeki. Never popular with Himawari, or any other girls for that matter. The nice guy... and always last place. ]
[ And maybe... ]
[ ...That was where he belonged. ]
[ And Watanuki's eyes opened. He stared at Alphonse, and now, he couldn't cry. He knew... he really did care for Alphonse... because a part of him knew that even though Alphonse wouldn't ever look at him the same, that he still wanted him to find someone to make him happy... even if it wasn't him. And he deserved someone better, cooler than some guy who didn't have a single special bone in his body. ]
[ He spoke. ]
...That's fine.
[ And while it was the truth for the sake of Alphonse... ]
[ It was the most horrible lie he had ever told himself. ]
[ Action ]
I know that right now in your head you're telling yourself all these lies about why and why not, but you can't listen to that.
If I spoke to you the way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would I have been your friend?
[ Action ]
...I'm going to try and sleep... okay?
[ Action ]
[ Action ]
[ The happy feeling he had been harboring moments before... flickered out with a weak flame, and left nothing behind but swirling smoke. ]