[ with nervous reluctance, alois takes hold of the spade's handle and it makes him feel icy to hold it, to know he's about to dig a grave. this is the least he can do, though. he isn't a sociopath or a lunatic.
deep breath, then he pierces the earth with the metal and not very much dirt is loosened. he frowns, bites into his tongue (it's a punishment) as harsh as possible, shrugs the coat off and attempts it again, straining his wrists to get the spade under grass and dirt. this time much more comes.
the work of it is infuriating. how long are small things like this going to remind him of what he learned? but, he can't bear thinking about going back inside until he knows the hen has flowers over it, so he works and works, biting down into his tongue more and more. his arms shake, he weeps without a sound, and he can taste salt and metallic in his mouth.
he manages a foot deep, before he's stopping, because it's grown difficult to see. shuddering breaths leave him, there's blood on the inner-edge of his lips, and he wipes the back of his hand over his eyes. ]
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Date: 2012-10-20 03:21 pm (UTC)deep breath, then he pierces the earth with the metal and not very much dirt is loosened. he frowns, bites into his tongue (it's a punishment) as harsh as possible, shrugs the coat off and attempts it again, straining his wrists to get the spade under grass and dirt. this time much more comes.
the work of it is infuriating. how long are small things like this going to remind him of what he learned? but, he can't bear thinking about going back inside until he knows the hen has flowers over it, so he works and works, biting down into his tongue more and more. his arms shake, he weeps without a sound, and he can taste salt and metallic in his mouth.
he manages a foot deep, before he's stopping, because it's grown difficult to see. shuddering breaths leave him, there's blood on the inner-edge of his lips, and he wipes the back of his hand over his eyes. ]